The Ballad of SCBWI Conference 2016 - or The Spelling Beast

To reiterate our midpoint Story Arc post - 'SCBWI people can party', hearty as it were, arrr!

Here's the little ditty that whet our appetites on the Dinner Dance Party night by poet master, Harry Laing, aka red hot speller; aka twister on the dance floor.


So here we are at The Menzies

soon we’ll be whipping up frenzies


‘cos SCWBI people can party

they’re not just kids’ literati


no they’re crazy, they’re wild

(ask their strange inner child)


or that’s what I think

but then I’ve had a few drinks


first up…Susanne Gervay

who does it her way


she’s a true force of nature

a passionate creature


her voice is commanding

do you think she’s demanding?


when her eye falls on you

you just bloody well do


Tracy get up here

Harry…where are you (feelin’ the fear!)


Susanne’s not really scary

though she can look a bit glary


people do things for her

(would they dare to demur?)



Susanne, you’re a star


which brings me to stellar…

cue Deb Abela


she just gets everywhere

look – she’s under your chair!


and she’s on drugs

now she’s under the rug!


hum, what rhymes with Abela?

here’s a word – fella


blokes, guys, yes men

there’s not many of them


I feel like a minority

triumph of the sorority


yes, you can jump to your conclusions

he’s got masculine delusions


that’s just the way it is

not so much manuscript as Ms


but let’s get back to this feast

and the famous spelling beast


it’s more fearsome than a bee

you’ll get so anxious you will pee


right, spell SCWBI



go to back to your table

with a can’t spell label


OK, next word: seceded

but why is that word needed?


it’s what WA have done

they’ve gone off on their own


so how do you spell SCWBI?

Deb Abela, take more drugs, tell me!





meaning squib, a firework, verbal joust

but I’m sure my time is running out


is there anything I’ve missed?

here’s a final checklist:


are you branded or stranded

has your contract landed


are you showcased, po-faced

is your profile mostly web-based


are you upbeat or defeatist

can you spell TMETUS


did you quiver at the pitches

develop involuntary twitches


have you handed over cards

have you done the hard yards


and I think we’ll leave it there

it’s time to let down the hair!

©Harry Laing 2016